John Candy as Divine, singing "Santa Bring My Baby Back to Me"

It's not Peter Pan, but it'll do.

A 1955 instructional video on Making Christmas Tree Ornaments

It may be a bit late for this year, but this 17-minute educational short should be really handy next year when prepping for the holiday, even though it features some of the most mirthless narration in any Christmas short.

A young boy gets a Santa surprise Tim Sullivan's 1985 short film A CHRISTMAS TREAT

Sullivan, later the director of 2001 MANIACS and co-director of CHILLERAMA, cut his teeth with this short film about a young boy who dreams of Santa's impending arrival -- only to find the real deal is something much less holiday-friendly.

Evening Entertainment: Kate Bush's Christmas Special (1979)

I'm not sure who thought giving Kate Bush a Christmas special just as variety shows were starting to fall out of fashion, but I love the fact that they did.  Peter Gabriel also shows up, but really, it's lots of Kate Bush being Kate Bush.

Afternoon Music Video: Los Del Rio - "Macarena Christmas" (1996)

Because the holiday season should be, in part, a reminder of tragedy and how best to confront it.


Los Del Rio - Macarena (Christmas Remix) [HD] by musicmeadows

Spend Christmas with E.T. on your Atari 2600

Christmas Eve, 1982, was a time filled with wonder and mystery, as children across the country eagerly anticipated being able to play along with E.T., their new best friend.

Christmas was crap.

Paul Sorvino sings a Christmas medley

And he's not bad?  In any case, it's an odd thing to see the GOODFELLAS star belt out a tune in a clip from a Universal Studios promotional special.

The Computer Chronicles help you choose the Christmas gifts for the hacker in your life, circa 1983

Christmas cards on floppy discs!  $400 word processors!  Programs that can make graphs!  It's an amazing array of goodness to choose from for the "hacker" in your life.

Trailer: 1957's THE SNOW QUEEN is "gay as a diamond-studded rainbow"

Art Linklater hosts this Russian animated film, given new voices by Tommy Kirk, Sandra Dee and Patty McCormmick.  The film was also re-released in the 90s with new voice-overs from Kathleen Turner, Mickey Rooney and Kirsten Dunst.

A 1985 documentary chronicling Katrina and the Waves' "Walking on Sunshine" success

It's time to feel good!  Shot during the Waves' 1985 summer tour, here's a behind-the-scenes look at the English rock band during the summer of their greatest fame that lacks VH1-style freneticism or "polish" (read: ridiculous editing) and feels all the richer and more "real" for it.  Granted, it was just made to sell the (included) music videos, but it's still an enjoyable trip.  It also features "Walking on Sunshine" being played a few times, but don't worry, they've got other songs too.

Morning Cartoon: Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers - "Let's Party"

Okay, so Nana Mouskouri is a bit of a downer, so here's something much more upbeat -- the British act Jive Bunny and the Mixmasters performing a medley of Christmas tunes.

Morning Music: Nana Mouskouri - "Minuit Chrétiens"

It's not a crazy, wild video or song or anything, but it's Christmas Eve, so here's something that's just nice.  You may know the song better as "O Holy Night," but Mouskouri's take on the Christmas classic sounds better in her native Greek.

Evening Entertainment: The 1975 animated TV special "The Tiny Tree"

Featuring the vocal talents of Buddy Ebson and music by Roberta Flack, the DePate-Freleng production about a group of forest animals that attempt to make a holiday great for a little girl is strangely obscure, having never been released to VHS or DVD, but it's a charming little special.  Maybe it's because there aren't any recognizable characters?  In any case, here it is, and it's got songs that will stick in your head for days -- not surprisingly, as they're written by Johnny Marks, who wrote the music for "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."

Trailer: KRAMPUS (1958) will take care of the naughty children

Sadly, this "lost" Christmas horror film doesn't actually exist, but dang, it'd be a lot cooler if it did.  The faux traler is from Midnight Crew Studios, makers of the impressive WNUF HALLOWEEN SPECIAL.

The Texas Department of Public Safety wishes you a merry Christmas by reminding you of traffic fatalities

"Keep this in mind over your holidays.  Don't let the names of your loved ones show up on our teletype network."  Fair enough.

1962's THE BIG DOWNTOWN CHRISTMAS presents a child exploring downtown Chicago in the holiday season

Okay, so the narration by our lead young man (Burton Moore, though the boy is played in the film by Eric Bettelheim) is a bit grating, but Charles D. Sharp's short shows off the Chicago Loop in the early '60s to great effect, serving as a Chicago Christmas equivalent to 1953's LITTLE FUGITIVE.

Pussy Willow plays "We Three Queens" on Theremin, keyboard and recorder

Christmas just ain't Christmas without an oddly-dressed drag queen playing a Christmas favorite in triplicate.

Celebrate Christmas in style in 1982 with your new Commodore 64

This demo, run on department store Commodore 64s, was strangely instrumental in selling the home computer for the holiday season.  Who can resist the SID chip sounds of Christmas?

R.O. Blechman's "Christmas Message" animated promo for CBS from 1966

I don't like to be one who longs for the "good old days," but I do think the idea of a major network airing something as low key as this in 2014 is pretty unlikely.

Morning Cartoon: Evelyn Lambert's "The Story of Christmas" (1973) is a beautifully-rendered version of the holiday's origins

Lambert worked primarily in cut-out animation, and this wordless short is amazing to watch, regardless of any religious meaning. 

Morning Music Video: Joe King Carrasco & The Crowns - "It's a Party Christmas"

A music video from new wave Tex-Mex singer/guitarist Joe King Carrasco is like opening your gifts early.

Evening Entertainment: Holiday BumperJam 2014

Rob Dean and Kyle Johnson's hour-long mixtape of Christmas specials and holiday-themed content that serves as a "greatest hits" package of noelly goodness.  I've tried not to replicate anything they used on this site, but it's tough when it comes from all this stuff - and, what, I'm NOT going to include Jan Terri?  No, Jan Terri shall be everywhere at all times, as the gods intended.


Holiday BumperJam 2014 from Neurotic Monkey on Vimeo.

A fan film following up on the CRITTERS franchise that serves as a pitch for WB's upcoming web series

It's tough to keep up with all the newer fan films based on established characters, as there's just so dang many of 'em, but Jordan Downey's deserves your eyeballs because (1) it's well-made, looks professional and respects the rules of the franchise it follows and (2) is a follow-up to the CRITTERS movies, a franchise that isn't exactly known for its devoted roster of fans that create original content.  The six minute short is pretty much all set-up, but it seems to have a fine regard for the world that the original four films had established.  Here's CRITTERS: BOUNTY HUNTER, just in time for Crites-mas.

1975's THE SANTA TAPES takes a behind the scenes look at a department store Santa

Scott Jacobs' timepiece is a great, if downbeat, documentary/interview on Art Baldwin, an Chicago Marshall Fields' Santa in which he talks about his career, the kids he deals with and lack of decent pension, all with barely a hint of holiday cheer.

Joe DiMaggio pitches Mr. Coffee for Christmas

It's America's number one coffee maker, after all.

Shirley Bassey performs "Diamonds are Forvever" on the "Morecambe & Wise Christmas Special" in 1971

The "Goldfinger" singer was in fine form on this 1971 BBC Christmas special, performing "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" and "Diamonds are Forever," the former on a revolving set powered by the hosts. 

Michael Keaton plays a has-been film star striving for a revivial in 1985's "But I'm Happy"

Aired as part of David Letterman's "Holiday Film Festival," the Keaton-produced short finds him playing a cocky, broke version of himself, down on his luck and unwanted by the industry.  BIRDMAN is a remake of this, only much longer and without Ron and Clint Howard.

Take a look at all the great upcoming holiday films... of 1984

Forget THE INTERVIEW!  The 1984 holiday movie releases are where it's at, and well, outside of BEVERLY HILLS COP, it's kind of a roster more notorious in financial failure.  All eyes are on DUNE, but will 2010, SUPERGIRL, CITY HEAT, MASS APPEAL or THE COTTON CLUB bring the box-office gold?  (No.)  It also features a helpful explanation as to what trailers are.

Christmas Crunch cereal will get you in the holiday spirit

When you wake up Thursday morning and check out your goodies from Santa, be sure to start your day off with a bunch of terribly cereal that will destroy your gums.

Morning Cartoon: "The Little Match Girl," from 1968's THE WORLD OF HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSON

A young Hans tells the tale of the Little Match Girl (to a particularly whiny child) in this little-seen animated film from Toei, re-dubbed for American audiences by Hal Roach in 1971.

Morning Music Video: Jan Terri - "Rock and Roll Santa"

What better way to start a holiday week than with the sweet, soothing sounds of Chicago limo driver Jan Terri?  Terri was an odd fixture of the Chicago music scene in the mid '90s (this song is from her 1994 album "High Risk," which I'm proud to say I have on cassette) and became more notable nationwide after appearing on "The Daily Show."  She's recently returned to singing after a decade-long hiatus.