The Brief, Wondrous Life of the Cable Music Channel

MTV quickly became a cultural juggernaut in the 1980s after its 1981 launch, bringing new music to millions of households whose access to music videos had been previously limited to late-night programs.  It's not surprising that others attempted to cash in on their success, and in the fall of 1984, enterprising media mogul Ted Turner made his attempt to do so with the blandly-named "Cable Music Channel." 

The network launched at midnight EST on October 26, 1984, with a very awkward press conference featuring Network President Robert Wussler, Los Angeles Councilwoman Peggy Stevenson (who declared the day "Cable Music Channel Day"), General Manager Scott Sassa (who now works for Robert Rodriguez's El Rey Network) and Turner himself, promising that the network will "stay away from excessively violent or degrading clips toward women that MTV is so fond of running."  Heck, don't just read my description - watch the awkwardness unfold.




CMC tweaked the MTV format slightly, doing live VJ segments with unseen VJs rather than the bigger network's pre-recorded video segments.  This gambit, along with the veering away from "controversial" music videos, failed to pay off, and the network didn't find an audience, even with commercials like the one below, featuring Randy Newman, Steve Miller, Corey Hart, Little Richard and Sparks (!).



It's not that the network was really even given a chance to succeed.  On November 29, only 34 days after the network's launch, it was sold to MTV Networks for a rather pathetic sum of a million dollars, signing off the very next evening with the same video that launched the channel - Randy Newman's "I Love L.A." - interspersed with goodbyes from the folks who worked at one of the shortest-lived cable channels in history.

Unraveling the enigma of Angelyne

Who is Angelyne?

Before the Real Housewives and the Paris Hiltons (but after Zsa Zsa Gabor), there was Angelyne, a celebrity solely because she said she was a celebrity.  Technically an actress (who had bit roles in the likes of Brian De Palma's PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE and the bawdy sketch flick CAN I DO IT 'TILL I NEED GLASSES?), Angelyne rose to a very specific type of fame when she started promoting herself via billboard in 1984 in conjunction of the release of her second album.  According to Robinson (THE WOMAN CHASER) Devor and Michael Guiccione's long out-of-print documentary ANGELYNE, the billboards were financed by a wealthy backer in exchange for all of the profits she'd make from her newfound celebrity, though, like everything related to Angelyne, whether or not that's the truth is questionable.


The album may not have taken off (see the music video above), but the billboards became a ubiquitous part of Los Angeles culture.  The Angelyne character continues to be a fixture of the city, as she drives around town in her pink Corvette.  She's even become, well, technically an actress, with bit roles in EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY, HOMER AND EDDIE and in countless television shows and music videos.  She always plays herself, or a character that is essentially a version of herself, even when she's playing Barbara Bush in 1991's THE MALIBU BEACH VAMPIRES.  It's no surprise that she's one of the "personalities" visible in the music video for Moby's "We Are All Made of Stars" along with Kato Kaelin, Corey Feldman, Todd Bridges, Gary Coleman and Ron Jeremy.



Even with the benefit of Devor's documentary and brief profiles like the one below, Angelyne remains a completely vapid enigma.  The living, committed embodiment of the "blonde bombshell airhead," Angelyne is Anna Nicole Smith without the depth (or tragedy), a bizarre cult phenomenon inspired by simply being the living persona of a Barbie doll.  She's not a character that can really be examined or analyzed -- she simply is, and there's no depth beyond the surface.  Whether or not this is just an act is irrelevant, as if it's an act, "Angelyne" is so far into character that I doubt there's a "there" there anymore.




(It's not that surprising that she's inspired drag personas like Stangelyne and Trixie Mattel as well, as she's essentially a drag queen without the gender-bending.) 

Angelyne is the rare example of a celebrity famous entirely because she says she is -- unlike the current incarnation of the psuedo-celebrity, she didn't even have a reality show to cause her rise to fame.  And a TV show about Angelyne probably wouldn't be interesting anyway, as she's so committed to her character that she doesn't really DO anything.

It's a persona exemplified by this exchange in a 2012 interview with Alex Israel in his (deliberately) odd YouTube series "As It Lays:"



Israel: What do you want the world to know about Angelyne?

Angelyne: Absolutely nothing!  Oooo!

That's Angelyne in a nutshell.  But for the sake of seeing at least a taste of Angelyne not being Angelyne, here's her sharing the screen with John Candy in CAN I DO IT 'TIL I NEED GLASSES?

Beyond PIXELS: The other short works of Patrick Jean

With the feature film version of PIXELS arriving in theaters this week, I looked at a few other options for video game nostalgia, including the short on which it was based.  But what has French director Patrick Jean been up to since the 2010 short went viral?

Well, for one thing, he directed this music video for German electronic musician Boys Noize, which was one of my favorite music videos of 2013, as a man without super powers moves into an area populated entirely by caped crusaders.



Boys Noize - What You Want from Patrick JEAN on Vimeo.


He also helmed this other, equally clever video for the musician, created from using discarded keyboards.



Boys Noize - ICHRU from Patrick JEAN on Vimeo.



His inventive short film MOTORVILLE may not tap into the same nostalgia factor as PIXELS, but it's still a hell of a lot of fun, even if the metaphor ends up being a little messy.


Motorville (FULL SCREEN HD Version) from Patrick JEAN on Vimeo.



He's also been working on commercials, like this visually creative one for Audi.


Audi - Sphere from Patrick JEAN on Vimeo.


Check out some more of his work here and if you're powerful enough to do such things, maybe hire him for something nifty. 

Ten 8-bit nostalgia-inducing short film alternatives to seeing PIXELS

PIXELS opens today, and if the reviews are to be believed, it's somewhere between "pointless" and "awful," and probably not worth spending eleven bucks on.  Instead, why not sate your 8-bit nostalgia for free with ten perfectly good, and genuinely entertaining, short videos?  Save a few bucks and get WHY DON'T YOU PLAY IN HELL? on streaming instead, and then you can just stay in your home and not have to deal with the type of people that would willingly spend the cost of a meal on an Adam Sandler movie.

1. PES's impressive stop-motion animated short that reimagines a number of video game classics


2. Lily Tomlin talking about Pac-Man addiction from a 1982 episode of "Saturday Night Live"



3. The incredible video for Royksopp's "Happy Up Here" about video game-related intruders



4. A 1982 animated short about a video game invasion


5. Alex Varanese's nifty stop motion short tribute to R-Type


6. A promotional film for the laserdisc game "Cliff Hanger" (using footage from Miyazaki's CASTLE OF CAGLISTRO)


7. Pac-Man reimagined as first-person driving game



8.  Eight minutes of commercials for food featuring video games



9. The vintage arcade game-inspired music video for The Montauk Project featuring a character called "Dookie-Poo"


10. Patrick Jean's original short film that inspired the feature you probably want to avoid



Bonus: The other stuff on this site tagged "Video games"

A brief guide to the music videos of FLETCH

I know, I've been gone for a while.  My apologies to the two or three people that actually noticed -- I hope you've been watching something good! 

You probably have.  There's a lot of neat stuff out there.

Anyway, when I started this vanity blog, my plan was to keep it updated constantly, several times a day, like a real-life website that multiple people were in charge of.  That worked for a while, thanks to the ability to plan things on the weekends and have them slowly leak out during the week.  Soon, however, it became more of a burden than something fun -- which was the whole point of starting this in the first place.

After a few false re-starts, I think I'm ready to commit again, though this time, I'll just be posting sporadically -- whenever I find something notable enough to write about.

Without further ado...

I miss the time when a movie's soundtrack provided a music video for just about every dang song on it.  I have no idea if this tactic worked as a merchandising device, though evidence suggests it didn't, as with few exceptions, most music from '80s movies is remembered only in the context of the movie itself. 

FLETCH, the 1985 cinematic adaptation of Gregory McDonald's series of detective novels starring Chevy Chase as the titular character, had not one, not two, but three music videos devoted to the songs on the soundtrack.  I hadn't realized this until recently, having only been aware of the video for Harold Faltermeyer's Art of Noise-y instrumental theme music, which features Faltermeyer wandering around a beach and occasionally playing synthesizer.  It's "integrated" into the movie in that, er, it's set on the beach, where part of the film is, and one point, he seems to be calling Fletch.  Sort of.



The prolific Will Harris, he of the AV Club's excellent "Random Roles" feature, pointed out this second music video, which is significantly more nuts.  Stephanie Mills sings the "actual" theme from FLETCH in a bizarre performance art space that's probably best described as "'80s futurism."  Clips from the film show up via video screens and sound samples.



But look!  Defenseless babies!  No, I kid.  Things do, however, get even weirder with our final FLETCH video, that actually seems to feature new footage with Chase shot for the video itself.  At least, I don't remember a scene in FLETCH where the lead character ran into a tent and watched George Wendt appearing in a crystal ball operated by Dan Hartman.  There is leather.  And random glitter.  And it feels like it was meant for a DEATHSTALKER sequel.




I could be wrong, though. It's been a while since I've seen the film.

Afternoon Music Video: Los Del Rio - "Macarena Christmas" (1996)

Because the holiday season should be, in part, a reminder of tragedy and how best to confront it.


Los Del Rio - Macarena (Christmas Remix) [HD] by musicmeadows

A 1985 documentary chronicling Katrina and the Waves' "Walking on Sunshine" success

It's time to feel good!  Shot during the Waves' 1985 summer tour, here's a behind-the-scenes look at the English rock band during the summer of their greatest fame that lacks VH1-style freneticism or "polish" (read: ridiculous editing) and feels all the richer and more "real" for it.  Granted, it was just made to sell the (included) music videos, but it's still an enjoyable trip.  It also features "Walking on Sunshine" being played a few times, but don't worry, they've got other songs too.

Morning Cartoon: Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers - "Let's Party"

Okay, so Nana Mouskouri is a bit of a downer, so here's something much more upbeat -- the British act Jive Bunny and the Mixmasters performing a medley of Christmas tunes.

Morning Music Video: Joe King Carrasco & The Crowns - "It's a Party Christmas"

A music video from new wave Tex-Mex singer/guitarist Joe King Carrasco is like opening your gifts early.

Morning Music Video: Jan Terri - "Rock and Roll Santa"

What better way to start a holiday week than with the sweet, soothing sounds of Chicago limo driver Jan Terri?  Terri was an odd fixture of the Chicago music scene in the mid '90s (this song is from her 1994 album "High Risk," which I'm proud to say I have on cassette) and became more notable nationwide after appearing on "The Daily Show."  She's recently returned to singing after a decade-long hiatus.

Morning Music Video: Traci Lords - "Control" (1994)

The NOT OF THIS EARTH (take 2) star's biggest musical hit was this 1994 techno track, featured in the MORTAL KOMBAT soundtrack.  The music video is very James Bondy, which is never a bad thing.

Morning Music Video: Tik and Tok - "Days of Glass"

The musical mime duo Tik and Tok appeared in RETURN OF THE JEDI and XTRO, opened for Gary Numan and are a friggin' robotic musical mime duo. 

Gregg Araki's music video for The Micronauts' "The Jag"

Araki is a bit of a divisive figure in film, but there's know doubt that the DOOM GENERATION and MYSTERIOUS SKIN director, who turns 55 today, has an eye.  It's one naturally suited for music videos, so it's kind of a surprise that he hasn't directed more of them, but here's one about a fantasizing supermarket shopper that was released about the time of Araki's SPLENDOR.

Afternoon Music Video: Guy Pearce's "Fly All the Way"

I wasn't sure what to expect from the first video from MEMENTO, L.A. CONFIDENTIAL and PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT star Guy Pearce, but I don't think it would have been this, an increasingly bizarre (and disturbing) video featuring Pearce is a wide variety of pitchmen.  It's pitched with just a little more obvious self-awareness than an Eric Wareheim music video, but Tim White's journey into the land of the weird is certainly a compelling one.

(Thanks, Nerdist!)

Morning Music Video: Elysian Fields - "Channeling"

Start the day with some magic musical mushrooms.  There's a hell of a lot of visual crazy going on in Steven Mertens' music video, but it's the sort of crazy that works beautifully with Elysian Fields' groovy track.


Elysian Fields - Channeling from Steven Mertens on Vimeo.

Morning Music Video: Meat Loaf - "If You Really Want To" with Caroline Munro

MANIAC star Munro plays a number of diverse roles (including a vampire), all of which feel like they can never love again!  Good thing the Loaf is here, from his 1983 album "Midnight at the Lost and Found."

Morning Music Video: Jane Birkin - "La Gadoue"

Birkin turns 68 today.  Send her a card.

Afternoon Music Video: Mogwai - "Teenage Exorcists"

An entrancingly beautiful video to an equally moody track that's so good I can forgive it for not being a sequel to Fred Olen Ray's TEENAGE EXORCIST.  Directed by Craig Murray.


MOGWAI: TEENAGE EXORCISTS (2014) from Craig Murray on Vimeo.

Morning Music Video: The Silencers - "Peter Gunn, Remote Control and Illegal" with Ken Foree

DAWN OF THE DEAD's Ken Foree tends bar in a wild world of excitement, future sunglasses, colorful lighting, remote controls, and a concert to close the show.

Music

Morning Music Video: Le Roux ft. Fergie Frederiksen - "Lifeline" (1983)

I believe this is what it referred to as "stadium rock."  All I know is that the lead singer is tormented and sees a lady kissing a man in black in the mirror when he shaves as the band plays in a ridiculously bright nebulous computer graphic.  Frederiksen was the lead singer of Toto.